VMA's version of Trainwreck

I have quite a few things to comment on after viewing tonight's VMAs.

First off, I have to begin where the night began: Britney. I have officially lost all hope for her. Seriously. I bet you never thought I'd ever say those words, but I am pretty ticked off...insulted, almost.

You know, I got really excited when I first heard her new single like a week ago or whatever. I thought, "This is it. This is really it. She's making a comeback. She's really turning things around this time." I had faith. I was routing for her...pretty much like everyone else in the world. But, boy, I feel so let down...and so stupid!

Of all people in this world, Britney, you should know...you either go all out or don't go out at all! You could not have bored me more! You did not even TRY! You just stood there! And when you stood there, you wobbled. You couldn't even stand on your own two feet. If you've lost your balance in heels, take it back to high tops or something. Come on, you're used to starting trends...kick it up a notch. I didn't even mind that you wore another boring sparkly bra and pantie set. Whatevs, I could look past that. That's just the surface. But your dancing? Are you for real? I could have marked that better than you had performed it. Yes, I am going there. I can't believe I idolized you for years and looked up to you as a performer, and this is what you gave me! You looked drunk and on drugs (which you may have very well been). You know, I defended you for years! YEARS! I got made fun of just for listening to your music. Whatever, I really don't care what people think. I stood up for you. When you drove with kids on your lap, when you walked into the bathroom at a gas station barefoot, even when you shaved your head...I just thought you were going through some rough times, but would eventually work it all out...but really, THIS has pushed me over the edge. I'm tired of being let down. You broke my heart. The Britney I once knew is gone forever. You'd have to perform magic for me to take you back...and quite frankly, that's exactly what I THOUGHT you were gonna do tonight. Yo, Criss Angel...where you at? Oof. I'm just tired.

Moving on...

While I'm on the negativity (so I can get it out of the way) this award show has just gotten worse year after year. I'm so disappointed. Where are the creative directors out there. MTV used to pull out all the stops, and it's like all your execs are in their last years and ready to retire. You guys need a revamp. Yes, it was a cool idea to do this in Vegas. Yes, it was a cool idea to have multiple parties going on in multiple suites in different hotels, but you just could have done so much more with it. I mean, this is Vegas we're talking about. Anything goes. Man, someone really needs to hire me because I could have done a hell of a lot better. I was talking about this with my friend Erica, and we think it's a fun idea for these separate "parties," but my personal opinion, performance-wise, it's not the best idea for tv. It was a little boring. Now if I could have actually been there in Vegas?...totally rad idea! I would have been dancing till my feet turned blue, but tv usually needs more bells and whistles.

Which brings me to...(not musical instruments, but) the sad fact that a lot of my friends were actually there partying in the Friends or Enemies suite (yea, the FOB one with Gym Class and the whole Crush crew,...it was pretty much everyone from the Angels & Kings/Trainwreck crew). They were, legit, in a hotel room and most definitely trashing it along the way. Gah! I'm totally jealous! I caught glimpses of friends ever few minutes havin a grande ol' time, and here I was back in NY and watching them from my couch. Le sigh.

Anyways, on to the good stuff? Gym Class obviously won "Best New Group." I feel like my home team just won the state championship or something. I'm totally happy for them. I feel bad for whoever has to clean up their hotel room tomorrow, though. Those boys are known for destroying and mutilating their rooms. Did you see how they were to busy celebrating to even accept their award? Good job, boys. Way to bring it back to the frat house.

I guess that was the only award I cared about. I dont think I even remember any of the categories. Whatever. Oh, but I do have to say this about Rhianna...girl's got killer legs!!! I know we've seen them millions of times before, but dang, that girl is hott. And I loved her performance with Fall Out Boy. It was cute how she just rocked out. I really appreciate it. She a down chick...I hope she doesn't turn into a Beyonce (sorry Yalixa). Oh, annnnd...I'd like to thank Chris Brown...for basically saving the show. I was almost falling asleep and then the boy came out and stage and tore it up. Finally, some visuals! Being a dancer, I need that. I totally love any kind of performance, but if you can't hack it just by singing in front of a crowd, provide me with something else please.

Ok, I'm really starting to ramble...so the only other thing I'll talk about is the closer. First off, since when is Timberland so jacked? Next, Nelly Fertado is hott. And last, I friggin can't stand Justin Timberlake! Whoa, I know I'll hear it for that one, but please, can someone back me up on this one? I LOVE his music. He serioulsy one of my favorite performers...but the dude is a you-know-what. He's so full of himself, and his personality belongs in the crapper. He's got this "I'm too good for anyone" kind of attitude. Where's the humbleness?

Oof, I thought I was done there..but this is really the last thing, I swear. Sarah Silverman. Yay or nay? I can't lie, sometimes I giggle at some of the comments she makes, but to me...she's just vile. She takes it one step too far. I just could have done without her. We had enough at the Movie Awards. She's too insulting and she makes me cringe.

I really don't want to show this...but this will justify my rant above: