No, really, please leave.

"Seriously, I'm engaged. See? THIS...is my ring. And we all have boyfriends."
"Well you're not married yet."
"Trust me, I am...and WE. DON'T. WANT TO TALK. TO. YOU."

If I can begin to even do last night justice by telling you how many times we got approached by the biggest douchebags EVER, I would feel so accomplished...maybe in attempt to help other guys from being complete idiots in the future.

Yesterday, 4/5ths of the Curbside Gang (Decker is in China) headed to Kels for some wedding planning and quality hangz. It involved My Little Ponies, Playdough, and Sparks. We stayed in to watch SNL before heading out to the "after afterparty." For those that don't know, SNL after afterparties don't begin until 4:00am...and the location and password isn't disclosed until after the show. This meant we had plenty of time to continue pregaming...hence we went to Continental around 2:00am for cheap drinks (though, one Sparks was enough for my night).


I have no idea how it came about, but apparently we must have been the only girls out in Manhattan. Guys just kept flocking to us. It wasn't even like we were out in the open. We had our own booth, minding our own buisness, and deep in conversation...obviously not interested in anyone around us. However, guys thought this was a perfect opportunity for them to make their move.

One started with introducing his friend. First of all, we didn't hear either of your names, nor did we care. Usually, we would just politely say, "sorry, we're not interested," but that didn't work with them. I thought our glaring eyes was sure fire way to get our message across: not interested! Nope, our looks of disbelief and disgust didn't phase them. Jessica was forced to show her ring, and told him we were ALL taken. Oh, but this only enticed them more...one even saying, "well you're not married yet." Right, buddy, cause your our dream guy. We, finally, just turned our heads away and started talking as if he wasn't there. It only took him 3 minutes to actually walk away. We should have just said we were pregnant (as we drank our alcoholic beverages).

So case #2 came along not more than just a few minutes after the first episode. At first, I thought he was just gonna make fun of the dudes trying to hit on us before, but no, prince charming was there to "rescue" us. Sorry, lad, but we don't need a hero. Erica began by being polite, "I'm sure your a really nice guy..." but when he continued with, "Oh no, I'm a douchebag," who were we not to agree? Finally, Kelly had to say, "Really, we're not interested. No, really, please leave." Our less-than-friendly attitudes just seemed so obvious...I mean, at least, I thought it did. I guess I could be wrong.

Before we left the Cont, someone commented on how "sexy" Parker's glasses were. Yes, we know she's hott but really, what was up with this night? It didn't stop there.

The cat calls on the street didn't phase me...they never do. I could have just gotten hit by a bus, had a broken nose, and a black eye and still gotten hoots and hollers (random sidenote: NYC builds confidence).

Walking into the afterparty was no different. There must have 3 or 4 other extremely similar situations on hand. Including this guy, Dave, who said my name was unique and "erotic." Thank you, Dave, for making me feel like a porn star. Really? Leave us alone, we just want to dance! Even a bouncer got in my way to block me from the path to my friends and said, "you're not leaving yet, are you?" I felt like saying, "I will if people won't stop being so creepy!!!"

We actually did end up having a very fun night, though, dancing to the oldies 'till the wee hours of the morning. It made us feel like we were back at PMC. I didn't go to bed until 7:30 in the morning only to pass out for a few hours. I have a hard time sleeping when the sun is up. So here I am on 4 hours of sleep and wondering what to do for the rest of the day.
also: laser cats